originals

WebMD.gov Entry for Trump Derangement Syndrome in the Year 2030

Overview

The first cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome (or TDS) were observed in 2017 shortly after President Donald J. Trump recorded his first landslide win in the Electoral College over Crooked Hillary Clinton. While most Americans praised the President for his glorious victory and readily embraced the concept of MAGA, a few dissenters quickly developed delusional thought patterns. These delusions tended to manifest in the form of seeing or believing in things that did not exist and never have existed (e.g., rampant government corruption, racism, sexism, Nazism, environmental destruction, and xenophobia). Quite the contrary, the opposite of all these things was reality and everyone except those suffering with TDS knew it. TDS is a progressive disease that worsens with time and exposure to the fake news media, which was the enemy of the people prior to its eradication in 2020. TDS is very serious and can cause erratic behavior. Early diagnosis and treatment is necessary to prevent disease progression.

Is TDS contagious?

Yes. Studies suggest that TDS is highly contagious and is spread through word of mouth. The best way to prevent the spread of TDS is to immediately alert the authorities if you suspect you or someone you know might have TDS.

Causes



There are many theories about what causes TDS, but none have been definitively proven. Scientists believe TDS is caused by a combination of factors:

• Preexisting mental health instabilities (i.e., craziness)
• Laziness
• Low IQ
• Lack of patriotism
• Bilingualism
• Dark skin tone
• Atheism
• Gayness
• Lack of testicles

Symptoms

Many people believe things that aren’t true from time to time. It can be difficult for the individual and his/her family and friends when such delusional episodes occur. However, in healthy people, these thoughts quickly pass. People with TDS aren’t so lucky.

TDS is characterized by strong, persistent, often permanent delusions that engulf a person’s entire existence. People with TDS live in an alternate reality: one where President Trump and his devoted team are not heroes, but villains.

People with TDS often fail to acknowledge as true the most basic historical facts, like that President Trump’s electoral victory in 2016 was the largest in history at the time, only to be eclipsed by his re-election victories in 2020, 2024, and 2028 in which he won over 500 electoral votes and more than 90 percent of the popular vote.

People with TDS often concoct elaborate fantasies to discredit President Trump and his many accomplishments. For example, almost all people with TDS ramble on about Russia “hacking” the national elections of 2016 and 2018. Many people, including thought leaders Sean Hannity and Alex Jones and distinguished statesman like Vladimir Putin, have debunked these outlandish claims.

People with TDS often talk about Robert Mueller, Michael Cohen, Paul Manafort, Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, and Roger Stone — all made up people who never existed.

People with TDS refuse to acknowledge that, in fact, white Christian men were the group most oppressed throughout history, having overcome three hundred years of slavery and discrimination to achieve their current status in society.

People with TDS also tend to believe that the disappearance of Florida and California into the ocean was caused by “global warming” and not God’s tears about all the gayness in America prior to President Trump’s reign.

People with TDS refuse to believe that elimination of all immigration from all countries not home to a wife or mistress of President Trump is necessary and natural. In fact, all immigration was illegal until Barack Obama made it legal and mandatory.

People with TDS don’t believe that drinking water has always been brown and sludgy. It has.

People with TDS often cling to the idea that they are members of a larger group they call “The Resistance.” Of course, The Resistance died out six years ago, and, in fact, never existed in the first place.

When confronted with basic facts such as the ones presented here, people with TDS inevitably ramble on about gaslighting, which is a made-up term and, honestly, we are disappointed in them for not knowing better.

Diagnosis

There isn’t a single test that can diagnose TDS. Once a patient is referred to the Center for TDS Care and Prevention, a division of the Centers for Disease Control jointly managed by Trump University, specially-trained physicians deliver a battery of psychological and physical tests.

What to expect?

No pain at all. Your initial consultation at the Center for TDS Care and Prevention will be wonderful. It will be the best doctor’s visit you’ve ever had. Believe us!

Treatments

There is no cure for TDS, but with early diagnosis and treatment, symptoms can be managed. Your doctor will likely prescribe one or more of the following courses of treatment:

• A strict regimen of news consumption: since the elimination of all news outlets other than Fox News in 2020, cases of TDS have been on the decline
• Isolation from society in facilities known as Trump Hostels
• Electroconvulsive therapy
• Full or partial lobotomy

Outlook

Good! Thanks to the hard work of brave medical professionals and continued support from the community, rates of TDS are rapidly declining. The continued excellence of the Trump administration in leading the fight against TDS should not go unnoticed. Researchers anticipate that TDS could be eradicated by 2040, which even TDS sufferers might agree would be an amazing accomplishment for President Trump — akin to the nuclear annihilation of the Korean peninsula and the Trump Space Force’s destruction of that big asteroid that was about to hit Iowa in 2022 right before the Congressional elections were cancelled. There will be no vaccine for TDS because vaccines don’t work. So, until full eradication is achieved, the authorities ask that everyone remain vigilant to the dangers posed by TDS. Oh, and the outlook for TDS patients? There are no TDS patients.