originals

Time’s List Of 100 Most Influential Times

  1. That Time When You Were Like I’ll Never Drink Again
  2. That Time You Drank Again
  3. That Time When You Wore Mismatched Socks On Purpose And Were Like, “This Is Who I Am Now.”
  4. That Time All The Chill Time Was Taken By Finding What To Watch On Netflix
  5. That Time You Listened To This Total Stranger Rant About How Life Is Like Chocolate At A Bus Stop And Went, “This Is Nothing Like The Movie”
  6. That Time You Voted On The Voice Nice Try, The Voice
  7. That Time You Left Medieval Times Whispering, “I Gotta Go Back… Back To The Future”
  8. That Time You Switched Calls And Hung Up On No One And Were Like “It Can Be Done!”
  9. That Time You Mentos’ed A Child #Freshmaker
  10. That Time You Saved A Number As First Name “Do Not Dial,” Last Name, “Drunky”
  11. That Time You Were Like Twix, No Snickers, Then Got Both And Called It A Super Twix
  12. That Time You Spent 20 Minutes Both Sitting And Getting Stood Up Before Calling It Your One-Woman “Weekend At Bernie’s”
  13. That Time When Your Sister Asked What To Name Her Baby, And You Were Like, “Santa. Can There Only Be One?!?!”
  14. That Time When You Had Your First Childhood Memory, Then Were Like, “Whoa, I Was 8. Did Seriously NOTHING Happen To Me Before This?”
  15. That Time You Were Like, “I Met My Man Like I Met HBO: Through A Friend”
  16. That Time You Stood In Front Of Drums At Guitar Center For Five Minutes Going, “Bangs Or No Bangs?”
  17. That Time Life Gave You Lemons And You Were Like, “Thank You, Life, I’ll Put It Right Over Here By That Sweater Granma Made Me”
  18. That Time The Best Part Of Breaking Up Was Folgers In His Face
  19. That Time You Made A Bucket List Of Buckets Just So There’d Be Options
  20. That Time Your Dad Asked Pancakes Or Waffles And You Were Like “Ahhh Quantity V Quality, Who Shall My Whimsy Favor?”
  21. That Time You Put A Quarter Behind Your Ear In Case There Was A Rare Opportunity To BLOW A MAGICIAN’S MIND.
  22. That Time You Spent Half A Day Watching Wedding Dance Videos. Yes, Tuesday.
  23. That Time You Realized That Where The Sidewalk Ends Is Not Only A Shel Silverstein Book But Probably Construction
  24. That Time You Went To The ATM For The Corner Coffee Guy, AKA The Day You Made Your Own Caffeine Withdrawal
  25. That Time You Made A List And Checked It Twice And Then Were Like, How Anal Is Santa, Exactly?
  26. That Time You Went On Those Two Dates At The Same Restaurant With Two Hot People. What Hijinks!
  27. That Time You Couldn’t Remember Which One Was Funny, TBS Or TNT, Then They Made That Commercial, And You Were Like, “They Know Funny – And Now I Do, Too.”
  28. That Time Your Dog Hid Food In The Couch And It Took You A Week To Realize What That Smell Was, Because No One Ever Really Wins Hide And Seek, But That Time Your Dog Did.
  29. That Time You And Someone Else Pronounced Target Targ-eh, Then Said In Unison “That’s MY Family’s Thing!”
  30. That Time You Were Like, “I Like My Men Like I Like My Coffee: Strong And Sweet.”
  31. That Time You Were Like, “I Like My Men Like I Like My Cowlicks, Not About To Flip Out”
  32. That Time You Were Like, “I Like My Men Like I Like My Tweets: Obviously.”
  33. That Time You Built A Pillow Fort But Mom Drew The Line At Its Corresponding Moat
  34. That Time You Played The Floor Is Lava Then Knocked Your Sister To The Ground Saying, “Pele Demands A Sacrifice!”
  35. That Time You Broke The Piñata Emotionally First
  36. That Time You Wished Yourself Happy Birthday In The Middle Of A List You Spent Entirely Too Long Writing But Hell, Life Is Short So You Might As Well Enjoy The Good Times
  37. That Time Your Dogs Barked At Nothing And Then You Joined In Because GET OUT OF HERE, NOTHING.
  38. That Time You Played Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon, Starting At Geraldine Eggs
  39. That Time You Called Going To The Aquarium “Watching The Live Action Little Mermaid”
  40. That Time You Made Potato Salad Using Lettuce Because Salad
  41. That Time You Spelled Boobs On Your iPhone And Got Wistful For Your TI-83
  42. That Time You Put Three Gumballs In Your Mouth, Immediately Regretted It, Then Said, “Let’s Go For Four”
  43. That Time You Spent Two Minutes Typing Yeow And Autocorrect Kept Making You Type Meow So You Just Leaned In And Added 🙀🙀🙀
  44. That Time You Wrote A List Of What To Get At The Store And Then Forgot The List Then Got Home And Realized You Didn’t Need The List. The Power Was Within You The Whole Time!
  45. Eggs.
  46. That Time You Realized You Couldn’t Remember A Dude’s Name You Hung Out With A Year Ago But You Could Remember The Theme To “Duck Tales” Because That Wasn’t A Duck Blur
  47. That Time You Carried On A Full Text Convo In Emojis And Then Hashtagged It CavemanConvo
  48. That Time You Asked Mrs. Butterworth To Breakfast Because It Doesn’t Always Have To Be About Work
  49. That Time You Sang In The Choir In A British Accent Because No One Can Catch Me, Guv’nor!
  50. That Time You Folded A Tip Into a Tiny Shirt And Then Told The Waiter You Got Them a Little Something For Our Time Together
  51. That Time You Kept Calling The Glass Patio Ones The Great Out Doors
  52. That Time You Skimmed Through And Tried To Find Your Favorite Part Of The “Happy” Video 2:13
  53. That Time You Made Fifty Bucks In Vegas And Told Everyone
  54. That Time You Lost Fifty Bucks In Vegas And It Stayed In Vegas
  55. That Time You May Have Already Won And You Probably Actually Did
  56. That Time You Thought Skateboarding Would Be Your Thing And Quickly Realized It Was Not
  57. That Time You Tried To Sneak Your Dog Food Under The Table Only To Realize You And Your Dog Have Similar Tastes And Don’ Nobody Like Lima Beans
  58. That Time You Realized Gif V. Jif Could Be Peanut Butter, Pictures, Or The Only Thing Your Coworker Will Bring Up Forever
  59. That Time You Were Like, “Yeah, I Stay Woke. It’s Seven AM And I Have Dogs.”
  60. That Time You Figured Out What Celebrity Your Face Looked Like, Then Kept Changing It Till You Got Someone You Liked That Was NOT A DUDE I AM BEAUTIFUL.
  61. That Time You Bit Off More Than You Could Chew Then Were Like, Just Chew Through, Then You Were Like, “ChewTown: Population Me”
  62. That Time You Tried To Let A Kid Win By Fake Pulling A Hammy But He Did Too So You Dug Deep And Milked It
  63. That Time You That Time You Taught A Man To Fish, Who Was Like, “Who Are You? Why Did You Bring Me To The Docks?”
  64. That Time You Hid Your Star Trek Phaser Because Company Was Coming, Then Put It Online Years Later; So, Yeah, This Truth Is Set To Stun
  65. That Time You Realized You Spent Four Hours Googling A Three Hour Flight So You Gave Yourself The Whole Can Of Coke To Make It All Better
  66. That Time You Quoted The Movie Twister, And No One Got It, So You Recreated It And Set The Bar Pretty High. YOUR MOVE, TWISTER.
  67. That Time You Said, “No Shirt, No Shoes, Beach Service”
  68. That Time You Dubbed Your “Wuthering Heights” Cliff Notes Your Heathcliff Notes
  69. That Time You Judged A Book By Its Center Then Were Like, “Well, I Ruined That”
  70. That Time You Realized The Whole Your, You’re Thing Totally Discounts Yore.
  71. That Time You That Time You Were Like, “Why Are Three Musketeers Not In Threes Like Twix? Hello, Missed Opportunity.”
  72. That Time You Tried To Read War And Peace But It Was Too Heavy To Carry, But When You Got An iPad It Was Too Heavy To Read
  73. That Time You Realized You Can Take The Girl Outta Middle School But You’ll Never Take Middle School Outta The Girl
  74. That Time You Won The Clean Plate Award And Accepted It On Behalf Of The Dinner That Couldn’t Make The Event
  75. That Time You Forgot Someone’s Name And Gave Them A Nickname, Mom
  76. That Time You Spared All Expense
  77. That Time You Ate Beets While Watching OJ On Netflix And When Your Mouth Was Covered In Red, Got Super Glad No One Could See You Cause You Looked Like You’d Gotten Too Into It
  78. That Time You Spent A Party Grunting And Reaching With Baby Hands To See If Anyone Would Bottle You
  79. That Time You Wondered If Stopping At A Crosswalk Makes It A Red Crosswalk
  80. That Time You Looked Up At Clouds And Daydreamed About What They Think You Look Like
  81. That Time You Parked Your Car In A Driveway, Drove Your Car On A Parkway, Then Were Like, “I’m Never Goin’ Home!”
  82. That Time You Tried To Skip Several Stones, And Eventually That Activity
  83. That Time You Walked A Mile In Someone Else’s Shoes, Then Were Like, “Blisters, Weird, Wait A MINUTE THESE AREN’T MY—”
  84. That Time You Saw Zac Efron With His Shirt Off ‘Cause YOUR LIFE WAS NEVER THE SAME
  85. That Time You Wondered If That Weekly World News Guy, Bat Boy, Grew Up And Became A Bat Man
  86. That Time You Went Outlet Shopping And Came Home With A Power Strip
  87. That Time You Wanted A Martini Shaken, Not Stirred So You Ordered It “Sleeping In An Earthquake”
  88. That Time You Shot For The Moon, ‘Cause Even If You Missed, Take That, Moon!
  89. That Time You Said The Dog Ate Your Homework, But He Actually Just Ate His Own Theses
  90. That Time You Realized Any Fraction In Waco Was A Compound Fraction
  91. That Time You Realized It’s A Marathon, Not A Sprint And Really Paced Yourself Though Those Friends Episodes
  92. That Time You Realized At An ATM Having Less Than $20 Is Like Going To A Strip Club: You Can Look, But You Can’t Touch
  93. That Time You Put All Your Eggs In A Basket Because Easter
  94. That Time You Thought You Were What You Drank, So You Did Hot Shots Of Rockstar
  95. That Time You Kept A Pile Of Those Sacajawea Dollars Just To Feel Like A Pirate
  96. That Time You Made Headlines, NY Post Ones, Like “Christina Strikes It Big: Hello, Ricci Rich!”
  97. That Time You Called Super Mario 2 Nuttin’ But A Pipe Dream
  98. That Time You Could Only Find Snowman Cookie Cutters So All The Gingerbread Men Became Fat Abe Lincoln
  99. That Time You Rambled For So Long You Said You Had Conversation Waze
  100. That Time You Stamped Today’s Date Outside Of A Best Buy And Yelled “JUST IN TIME!”