Other Things That Fall Under Trump’s Definition Of A National Emergency
Landscaper guys left a shovel on the front lawn again.
Guy in next limo didn’t have any Grey Poupon.
Ping pong ball from stripper landed on his steak.
Dab of buffalo sauce got into his eye again.
Golf cart ran over kid’s stuffed animal, got stuck in wheels and had to go to the club mechanic.
Porn star girlfriend filmed all day, and now smells like a mixture of pina colada and bleach.
Hornet’s nest over by the fifteenth hole.
Lock on backstage door at Miss Teen USA Pageant.
Sean Hannity not making enough direct eye contact through TV.
Cable out during marathon of CHiPs reruns.
Super-Size order of fries only contains 47 fries, instead of the usual 52.
Homeless people and other undesirables loitering near Trump Tower.
Ivanka finds and paints over peephole in bedroom closet.
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
