Congratulations! You made it! You’re an Old Person!

But entering into your golden years isn’t all hard candy and unreserved flatulence. It takes skill and finesse, training and education, to become a proper Old Person. Fortunately, there’s a guide—not in the form of some newfangled Facebook movie, but an honest-to-God, hold-it-in-your-wrinkly-withered-hands BOOK—that’ll help you navigate the perilous and confusing new world of cootdom. Full of nifty diagrams and succinctly written so you don’t forget what you’re reading partway through, How to Be an Old Person, by Brian Boone (Vulture, Great Men of Science) will tell you all you need to know about this new season of life!