Managing Your Email Notifications

This is the news digested and spat back at you, kinda like birds feed their chicks chewed up worms.

Every other day we send this newsletter to help focus and center your day.  Topics include, “Staying Focused,” “Centering Yourself,” “Keeping Focused,” “Focusing On Focus, “Why Did They Name That Car The Ford Focus.”

Get timely deals from our “Marketing Partners.” We have no idea who these people but they gave us money for your email and that’s what’s keeping this business model afloat.

Just a quick dose of tech news that can be summed in a headline, you already know about it and always concerns Apple, Facebook or Google.

When everyone is winding down, and those who observe the Jewish Sabbath are in synagogue, we send out this survey of relevant topics.

When everyone is recovering from hangovers, or attending church, we offer this survey to capture the pulse of the moment.

When there’s an event that is happening right now that is infinitely more appealing than what you’re doing and you have no chance of getting to, Events E-lerts are in your face.  Some events are close by and free.  Some are on the other side of the planet with entrance fees in the thousands.

• Notify me when someone responds to my post
• Notify me when I’m mentioned in a post
• Notify me when someone posts something I want to respond to because it pisses me off
  (enter topics that piss you off below)
  _________________________________________________

• Notify me when someone I follow who knows someone I don’t follow unfollows someone who follows someone I follow but doesn’t follow me
• Notify me when someone leaves the community
• Notify me when someone joins the community
• Notify me when someone uses the word “community” in a post
• Notify me when I earn a new badge reflecting I am shamefully too engaged in this absurdly niched community
• Notify me when my balance is running low
  (Note: we are not connected to your checking account…but check this box so we can remind you to check with your balance)

Jesus Christ What’s This

The “Jesus Christ What’s This Newsletter” is a weekly collection of totally unrelated things that are trending on Twitter, hot on Instagram, Snapchat stories and things to click on that have no connection to anything but are guaranteed to distract you.

Twice weekly we send out really geeky and arcane queries about technology that reflect no intelligence whatsoever but will make you feel like you’re smart.

A puzzling email blast with a uniquely annoying set of questions we pulled out of nowhere.

Freema, our email newsletter Senior Editor, sends out this occasional gem when she eats something interesting.

• Unsubscribe from all email notifications.
  (Note: if we come up with another email you’ll be automatically subscribed to that and have to come back here and unsubscribe.)
  
• Unsubscribe to every other notification, starting with the number 1 from the top, odd numbers only
• I wish to have all record of me ever visiting this site expunged from your servers
• I am a whore and you can use my data for whatever purpose you want