Trump’s Super Grand Asian Trip Itinerary

Nov 5: Spend half an hour explaining to the Asian press that he’s not Mothra in embryonic form.

Nov 6: During state dinner in Japan, grab octopus from plate and hide in pocket in order to scare Melania with later.

Nov 9: Attend East Asia Summit in bathrobe, figuring that other attendees will simply assume that it’s his “karate uniform”.

Nov 11: While in Vietnam, remark to others, “Say, this doesn’t seem like such a big deal. I should’ve just come in the first place, instead of bullshitting about those bone spurs. This seems like a pretty nice place!”

Nov 12: Assume that since most of these folks are so much smaller than him, he’ll end up having to play a few rounds of miniature golf before the trip is over.

Nov 13: After being unable to eat any of the Asian cuisine for several days, ask the Secret Service detail to find out if the rumors of dog being a popular Asian food are true. “A collie with a side of curly fries and a large root beer would hit the spot.”

Nov 13: While in the Philippines, rent a few of those young boys so that Melania has someone to go shopping with.


Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….