Nov 5: Spend half an hour explaining to the Asian press that he’s not Mothra in embryonic form.
Nov 6: During state dinner in Japan, grab octopus from plate and hide in pocket in order to scare Melania with later.
Nov 9: Attend East Asia Summit in bathrobe, figuring that other attendees will simply assume that it’s his “karate uniform”.
Nov 11: While in Vietnam, remark to others, “Say, this doesn’t seem like such a big deal. I should’ve just come in the first place, instead of bullshitting about those bone spurs. This seems like a pretty nice place!”
Nov 12: Assume that since most of these folks are so much smaller than him, he’ll end up having to play a few rounds of miniature golf before the trip is over.
Nov 13: After being unable to eat any of the Asian cuisine for several days, ask the Secret Service detail to find out if the rumors of dog being a popular Asian food are true. “A collie with a side of curly fries and a large root beer would hit the spot.”
Nov 13: While in the Philippines, rent a few of those young boys so that Melania has someone to go shopping with.