Weekly Humorist is a editorial satire, parody, current events, humor publication. WeeklyHumorist.com is the rightful owner or has been given permission or licensed any and all images, videos, text, and other content featured on WeeklyHumorist.com. Anything seen here may not be reproduced without the expressed written permission of WeeklyHumorist.com No image, video, or other content found on this site may be used in a court of law as evidence against an individual. Questions, comments, or concerns can be sent via our contact page.

Weekly Humorist Website Terms and Conditions of Use

Weekly Humorist provides visitors to its web site with access to content via the World Wide Web and offers the opportunity for users to submit text, pictures, video, links to other sites, and other content for posting on the WeeklyHumorist.com web site (the “Site”) under certain terms and conditions.

ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS THROUGH USE



By using this site, you signify your agreement to all terms, conditions, and notices contained or referenced herein (the “Terms of Use”). We reserve the right, at our discretion, to update or revise these Terms of Use. Please check the Terms of Use periodically for changes. Your use of this site following the posting of any changes to the Terms of Use will be deemed your acceptance of such change(s).

AGREEMENT TO USER CONDUCT RULES

You agree to abide by Weekly Humorist’s User Conduct Rules, including but not limited to, agreeing not to use this site for any unlawful purpose:

By posting information in or otherwise using any communications service, message board, or other interactive service that may be available to you on or through this Site, you agree that you will not upload, post, or otherwise distribute or facilitate distribution of any materials, including text, communications, software, images, sounds, data, or other information (hereafter “Content”) that:

1. is unlawful, threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, deceptive, fraudulent, invasive of another’s privacy or publicity rights, tortuous, or otherwise violates Weekly Humorist’s rules or policies;
2. infringes on any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, right of publicity, or other proprietary right of any party;
3. constitutes unauthorized or unsolicited advertising, chain letters, “spam,” any other form of unauthorized solicitation, or any form of lottery or gambling;
4. contains software viruses or any other computer code, files, or programs that are designed or intended to disrupt, damage, or limit the functioning of any software, hardware, or telecommunications equipment or to damage or obtain unauthorized access to any data or other information of any third party; or
5. contains information, material, or pictures of any person who is not both older than eighteen (18) years old and over the age of majority in such person’s state, providence, or country of residence.
You also agree that you will not harvest or collect information about the users or members of this Site or use such information for the purpose of transmitting or facilitating transmission of unsolicited bulk electronic e-mail or communications. You further agree that you will not knowingly solicit or collect personal information from a child 12 years old or younger. Weekly Humorist generally does not pre-screen, monitor, or edit the content posted by users of communications services, chat rooms, message boards, or other interactive services that may be available on or through this site. However, Weekly Humorist and its agents have the right at their sole discretion to remove any content that, in Weekly Humorist’s judgment, does not comply with the User Conduct Rules or is otherwise harmful, objectionable, or inaccurate. Weekly Humorist is not responsible for any failure or delay in removing such content.

LINKS AND THIRD PARTY SITES

This site may produce automated search results or otherwise link you to other sites on the Internet. These sites may contain information or material that some people may find inappropriate or offensive. These other sites are not under Weekly Humorist’s control, and you acknowledge that Weekly Humorist is not responsible for the accuracy, copyright compliance, legality, decency, or any other aspect of the content of such sites. The inclusion of such a link does not imply endorsement of the site by Weekly Humorist or any association with its operators.

PROPRIETARY RIGHTS AND RESTRICTIONS

You acknowledge and agree that all content and materials available on this site are protected by copyrights, trademarks, service marks, patents, trade secrets, or other proprietary rights and by other laws and that their use is restricted by the terms of this Agreement. Weekly Humorist, the Weekly Humorist product and service names are trademarks and/or service marks owned exclusively by Weekly Humorist. Weekly Humorist writer/author names are trademarks and/or service marks owned exclusively by Weekly Humorist. You will not display or use the Weekly Humorist Marks, in any manner, without Weekly Humorist’s prior permission. Except as expressly authorized by Weekly Humorist, you agree not to sell, resell, exploit for any commercial purposes, license, rent, modify, distribute, copy, reproduce, duplicate, transmit, publicly display, publicly perform, publish, adapt, edit, or create derivative works from any portion of such materials or content. Notwithstanding the above, you may print or download one copy of the materials or content on this site on any single computer for your personal, non-commercial use, provided you keep intact all copyright and other proprietary notices. Systematic retrieval of data or other content from this site to create or compile, directly or indirectly, a collection, compilation, database or directory without written permission from Weekly Humorist is prohibited. In addition, use of the content or materials for any purpose not expressly permitted in these Terms of Use is prohibited.

USER’S GRANT OF LIMITED LICENSE

By posting or submitting content to this site, you:

1. Grant Weekly Humorist and its affiliates and licensees the world-wide, royalty free, irrevocable, non-exclusive, and fully sub-licensable right and license to use, reproduce, display, perform, adapt, modify, alter, distribute, have distributed, and promote the content in any form, anywhere and for any purpose; and
2. warrant and represent that you own or otherwise control all of the rights to the content and that public posting and use of your content by Weekly Humorist will not infringe or violate the rights of any third party.

PARTICIPATION DISCLAIMER

Weekly Humorist does not and cannot review all Submissions posted to or created by users accessing the Weekly Humorist Technology (including, but not limited to, this Website), and is not in any manner responsible for the content of these communications or the activities of these users. You acknowledge that by providing you with the ability to view and distribute user-generated content through the Weekly Humorist Technology (including, but not limited to, this Website), Weekly Humorist is merely acting as a passive conduit for the distribution of such information and is not undertaking any obligation or liability relating to the content or the users� activities. Even though Weekly Humorist may monitor and review transmissions, we assume no responsibility or liability which may arise from the content thereof, including, but not limited to, claims for defamation, libel, slander, infringement, invasion of privacy, obscenity, pornography, profanity or misrepresentation. Notwithstanding the foregoing, Weekly Humorist reserves the right to block or remove communications, postings, or materials that it determines to be (a) abusive, defamatory, or obscene, (b) fraudulent, deceptive, or misleading; (c) in violation of a copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret or other intellectual property rights of another or (d) offensive or otherwise unacceptable to Weekly Humorist in its sole discretion.

DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES

ALL MATERIALS, INFORMATION, SOFTWARE, PRODUCTS, AND SERVICES INCLUDED IN OR AVAILABLE THROUGH THIS SITE (THE “CONTENT”) ARE PROVIDED “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE” FOR YOUR USE. THE CONTENT IS PROVIDED WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NONINFRINGEMENT. Weekly Humorist, ITS SUBSIDIARIES, AND ITS LICENSORS DO NOT WARRANT THAT THE CONTENT IS ACCURATE, RELIABLE OR CORRECT; THAT THIS SITE WILL BE AVAILABLE AT ANY PARTICULAR TIME OR LOCATION; THAT ANY DEFECTS OR ERRORS WILL BE CORRECTED; OR THAT THE CONTENT IS FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS. YOUR USE OF THIS SITE IS SOLELY AT YOUR RISK. ANY MATERIAL VIEWED, DOWNLOADED OR OTHERWISE OBTAINED THROUGH THE USE OF THIS SITE IS DONE SOLELY AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND RISK, AND YOU WILL BE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION PERSONAL INJURY OR DISTRESS, DAMAGE TO YOUR COMPUTER SYSTEM, OR LOSS OF DATA, THAT RESULTS FROM THE VIEWING OR DOWNLOAD OF ANY SUCH MATERIAL. BECAUSE SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT PERMIT THE EXCLUSION OF CERTAIN WARRANTIES, THESE EXCLUSIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.

LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHALL Weekly Humorist, ITS SUBSIDIARIES, MEMBERS OR EMPLOYEES BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES THAT RESULT FROM THE USE OF, OR INABILITY TO USE, THIS SITE. THIS LIMITATION APPLIES WHETHER THE ALLEGED LIABILITY IS BASED ON CONTRACT, TORT, NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, OR ANY OTHER BASIS, EVEN IF Weekly Humorist HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE. BECAUSE SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, Weekly Humorist’S LIABILITY IN SUCH JURISDICTIONS SHALL BE LIMITED TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW.

INDEMNIFICATION

You agree to indemnify and hold Weekly Humorist, and its parent, subsidiaries and affiliates and their respective officers, directors, agents, co-branders and other partners, contractors, and employees, harmless from and against any and all claims, expenses, and demands, including attorneys’ fees, made by any third party due to, arising out of, or asserted in connection with your use or misuse of this Site, including claims relating to content you submit, post to or transmit through this site, and your connection to and use of this Site. Weekly Humorist reserves the right to have control of any defense and control of any matter otherwise subject to indemnification by you. You agree to cooperate with Weekly Humorist in asserting any available defenses.

INTERNATIONAL USE

Weekly Humorist makes no representation that materials on this Site are appropriate or available for use in any particular locations, and accessing them from territories where their contents are illegal is prohibited. Those who choose to access this Site from any location do so on their own initiative, at their own risk, and are responsible for compliance with local laws. If you use this Site in a jurisdiction that prohibits or restricts such use, your use will be subject to, without limitation, any other provision of the Terms of Use, and Weekly Humorist shall not have any liability with respect to such use.

SEVERABILITY AND INTEGRATION

Unless otherwise specified herein, this agreement constitutes the entire agreement between you and Weekly Humorist with respect to this site and supersedes all prior or contemporaneous communications and proposals (whether oral, written, or electronic) between you and Weekly Humorist with respect to this Site. If any part of these Terms of Use is held invalid or unenforceable, that portion shall be construed in a manner consistent with applicable law to reflect, as nearly as possible, the original intentions of the parties, and the remaining portions shall remain in full force and effect.

TERMINATION

Weekly Humorist reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to terminate your access to all or part of this Site, with or without notice, for any reason, including, without limitation, if Weekly Humorist believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of these Terms of Use. This includes Weekly Humorist’s right to terminate a user’s ability to post materials to the Site. You acknowledge that Weekly Humorist shall not be liable to you or any third party for any termination of your access to this Site.

Submissions Contract
IMPORTANT LEGAL AGREEMENT FOR SUBMITTING CONTENT TO WeeklyHumorist.com

ATTENTION: The following terms and conditions apply to the website WeeklyHumorist.com (hereby known as “the Website”) and to any electronic correspondence between you and the Website concerning content submission to the Website (hereby known as “the Work(s)”) via the email address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or any other medium. Submitting the Work(s) via the e-mail address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or via the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or any other medium indicates that you accept these Terms and Conditions. If you do not accept these Terms and Conditions, do not submit the Work(s) to the Website. This notice is issued by WeeklyHumorist.com (hereby known as “the Company”).

1. INTRODUCTION
1.1 You may only submit the Work(s) to the Website by expressly acknowledging acceptance of these Terms and Conditions and providing an email address.
1.2 The Website may revise these Terms and Conditions at any time by updating this posting.

2. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS
2.1 Unless otherwise stated, the copyright and other intellectual property rights in all material on the Website submitted via the e-mail address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or any other medium (including without limitation photographs and graphical images) are owned by the Company.
2.2 Any rights not expressly granted in these terms are reserved by the Company.
2.3 You represent and warrant that you are the owner of all rights, titles and interest in the Work(s) or that you have the right to grant the license set forth below in paragraph 3.1.

3. VISITOR’S SUBMISSION OF WORKS
3.1 You grant the Company a perpetual royalty free, irrevocable, worldwide, exclusive, sublicenseable and transferable license to use, reproduce, modify, publish, translate, sell, transmit, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform and sub-license the Work(s) you supply or communicate to the Website in any medium, now in existence or hereafter developed, for any purposes, including commercial use.
3.2 Other than personally identifiable information, any material you transmit or post to the Website shall be considered non-confidential and non-proprietary. The Company shall have no obligation with respect to such material.
3.3 You are prohibited from posting or transmitting to or from the Website any of the Work(s) for which you have not obtained all necessary licenses and/or approvals.
3.4 If you believe your work has been copied and is accessible on the Website, please contact the Company.

4. INDEMNITY
4.1 You agree to indemnify the Company and its affiliates, employees, agents, its designees and licensees and to hold them harmless from any and all claims and liabilities (including legal fees) that may arise from your submissions of the Work(s) to the Website via the e-mail address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or via the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or any other medium, from your breach of these Terms and Conditions, or from any such acts arising from your use of the Website.
4.2 You agree to indemnify the Company, and any other party (whether or not involved in creating, producing, maintaining or delivering the Website) from all liability and responsibility for any amount or kind of loss or damage that may result to you or to a third party (including without limitation, any direct, indirect, punitive or consequential loss or damages, or any loss of income, profits, goodwill, data, contracts, use of money, or loss or damages arising from or connected in any way to business interruption, and whether in tort (including without limitation negligence), contract or otherwise) in any way or in connection with submitting the Work(s) to the Website via the e-mail address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or via the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or by any other medium, or by the Company reproducing the Work(s) in any form.

5. GOVERNING LAW AND JURISDICTION

These Terms and Conditions shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the United States, where the issue is a federal question and the laws of the State of New York where the issue is a state question. Disputes arising in connection with these Terms and Conditions shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction and venue of a court in the State of New York and disputes arising in connection with the copyright laws shall be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the United States Courts in New York.

6. EFFECTIVE DATE
This Agreement is effective on the date you agree to these Terms and Conditions and successfully submit the Work(s) via the e-mail address submit@WeeklyHumorist.com or via the form at WeeklyHumorist.com/submit or via any other medium.