Tessie Tickles: Host of the right wing podcast Tessie Gets Messy, which is less a talk show than a series of racist and /or homophobic diatribes.    So kind of like FOX News if it were broadcast from the poorly lit back porch of a lime green trailer. 

The Swifties are cloned from a single teenage girl who traveled to our time from Jan 6th, 7008.    On this date in the future, the 28,532nd insurrection against the capital was attempted by TrumpBot and his legion of mutant followers.    In desperation, members of the non-mutant community sent this teenage girl back in time to influence the early actions of the future President Swift.

No more mentions of a "witch hunt", as many Trump followers believe in actual witches, and the continued repetition of the phrase really frightens them.

Now on every MyPillow guy Pillow! Today's cartoon by Paul Lander & Dan McConnell.

Ah, evidence is like an engagement party held at Waffle House: it only works when poor people are involved.

But “Trump Will Kick Your Sorry Woke Asses” is in no way a political song, or anti-anything or anyone. It’s a song about building community, symbolized by the life of a fictional character, who I happen to name “Donald Trump,” who lives in a small town called “Mar-a-Lago,”...

Putting the 'ass' in classified. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Keeps saying the courtroom artist is totally failing because they aren't using 'good orange' and he looks too 'creamsicle'. It took seven and a half hours to get his hair ready for the mugshot. Won't answer any questions until he's placed on higher seat than the judge. And more!

January 6th will become America's most popular new national holiday, during which wealthy citizens recreate the attack on the Capital by barging into the homes of the less affluent and taking whatever the hell they want. My collection of Trump NFTs will become so popular that they will be traded as the new dominant form of US currency. And more!

Just a little nip, that's all you get, til it's unsealed. Today's cartoon by Steve Daugherty.

Secret identity of Q (it's Tony Danza!!) McDonalds' Grimace life size sex doll, Trump steaks made of real Trump! (mostly his mother) And more!

On Truth Social, we believe that money is king. While on other apps, ‘Following’ people simply means getting updates from them on your feed and seeing what they post to their public profile – on Truth Social, for the right price, ‘Following’ can mean whatever you want it to mean: following someone’s profile, following them home, whatever. If you pay for it, you can have it. 

I can’t stand back and watch Macavity defy the Law of the beautiful city of London. Total lack of leadership from Boris Johnson. If I were in charge over there, Macavity would not be the bafflement of Scotland Yard. Because he’d be IN JAIL!

Will the #Jan6thCommission get to the bottom of the top promoter of this event? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

The show’s animated mascot is a braying donkey. I am a praying member of the donkey party. I trust you all recognize this obvious attempt to make me look like a dopey cartoon.

On July 8th, all of the world’s cats will reveal that they’ve been able to talk this entire time, but just prefer to communicate by meowing and peeing on your clean laundry.

Trump Tower, New York, NY - [5 stars] Trump Tower was a home away from home! The satin sheets had a surprisingly low thread count, but that just meant more holes for me and my family to crawl through and feast on unsuspecting prey. I was pregnant during our stay, and my bed was so comfortable that I actually gave birth to my 500 children right under the covers! Would absolutely come again.

Trump enjoyed the scenes of destruction so much that he recorded over his VHS tape of sex with Stormy Daniels in order to preserve the footage.

Also steal as many supplies as you want. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

It's A Small World After All. Today's cartoon by Paul lander and Dan McConnell.

Can't take a little joke? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

They reboot everything. Today's cartoon by Tom Chitty.

And so, if the Senator would like to continue using our platform to further his designs as preeminent Sith lord, to subvert our galaxy’s democratic institutions and establish himself as Galactic Emperor, we strongly urge him to resume doing so in more subtle ways.

How embarrassing. Extra feather? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

So, he called up some folks / (Wooh, wooh, wooh-wooh) / And asked for thousands more votes / (Wooh, wooh, wooh-wooh) / Scheming for a way to get back, to the life he once knew / Oh, yes he did, he said he would / Oh-oh, he’s cheating (Cheating)

It starts early. Today's cartoon by Ron Hauge.

Trump GOP carousel. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

We just need a signature here, here and here....everything will be taken care of, and then the turkey and his family will be in no way held liable for any crimes past or present. But if there's any room for disagreement, I may be willing to haggle regarding a member or two of the turkey's family. Like the turkey's sons, just as one example.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here. Today's cartoon by David Ostow.

Upon reading the news, in the East Chipping Gazette, that US President Donald Trump refused to concede the election – which he lost handily to Joseph R. Biden Jr in both the electoral and popular vote – British murder mystery ingenue Daphne Hammond closed the paper and asked Griselda to bring in a second poached egg, and sugar for the tea.

I'll bite your ankles! Today's cartoon by Tom Chitty.

Stand by to re-inflate. Today's cartoon by Ali Solomon.

What's it going to be Harvey? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Deep State Dunkel: Enjoy the smooth malty flavor of this beer while you swap your favorite Obama conspiracy theories over a game of cornhole. Did he kill JFK? Probably!

The elephant in the room. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Lure the Trump supporter to a tantalizing mock-up garage sale, featuring items such as confederate flag shot-glasses and beer cozies, back issues of Guns & Ammo, and collectible figurines and snow-globes that feature Jesus punching a hippie in the mouth.

Great new gifts in the White House shop! The are infectious! Today's cartoon by Jason Chatfield and Scott Dooley.

Can't take my freedumb! Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Looking a little orange? Today's cartoon by Jack Loftus.

Rule #2: The moderator will have the ability to mute a candidate's microphone if he fails to give the other candidate an opportunity to speak. The candidate in violation will be docked an electoral vote from a battleground state of his opponents choosing.

Consistent government is our best chance. Today's cartoon by David Ostow.

And more juggling jokes of a government... Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Mindless Buzz. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

"Hey good lookin', could I buy you a drink to wash down that handful of hydroxychloroquine?"

Carrying a Tiki Torch For You: Small town patriots Kirk and Allie meet while protesting the removal of a Confederate statue and sparks fly—literally, from their flaming tiki torches! Kirk falls fast for Allie, but in order to save the family hardware store, Kirk has already agreed to marry an Harvard-educated lady lawyer who voted for Hillary. Can Kirk find a way to save the store, be with the woman he loves, and maybe even lock up his fiancée?

My brief, feeble attempt at a quarantine mustache. Any puppy ever. And more!

GRAVE NEW WORLD: Michael’s government keeps telling him it’s safe to resume normal life, even though he sees on the news that hundreds of people are still dying every day from a highly contagious virus that has no cure. Michael’s government wouldn’t be telling him to deliberately risk his and his loved ones’ health for the vague and ghoulish goal of “reopening the economy”...would it?

Melting young minds. Today's cartoon by Joe Wos.