Posts

CARTOON: Killer Call

The HORROR! Today's cartoon by Drew Panckeri.

I’m Bombarding You With Texts Before Election Day So You’ll Definitely Vote for Me

9:32 AM — Hi! I’m your state’s Republican candidate for Governor. I got your number from some voter registry list. Can I count on your support this Election Day? I’m texting you because I don’t trust the polls and figure if I slide into your phone without consent, you’ll definitely vote for me. 9:33 AM —If you want to opt out of these messages reply “STOP” and I’ll continue sending them to you.

Fresh Alternatives To Dying

Hahahahahahahahahahah ur KILLING me! LMFAO on my way to death! LOL omg moving west to take a job working in the mines

CARTOON: Thar She Blows

One for One? Today's cartoon by Jeff Hobbs.

Don't Separate Church & State! Sexy Religious Texts Conservative Senators Can Send Their Mistresses

Remind your lover that you’re an all around great guy/gal. So great, that you can be shared among many who are blessed with your presence and chemically-brightened smile.

The Tao Te Ching Rewritten As Tweets 

The unnamable is the eternally real ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The VERY URGENT Presidential Alerts!

I heard what you said about me earlier today, and the secret service guys should be knocking down your door in 3... 2... 1.... Okay, ha, just kidding! But try to think before you speak next time, 'kay?

CARTOON: Presidential Alert

THIS IS ONLY A TEST! EVERYTHING IS PROBABLY FINE! Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Every Emoji Is a Dick Emoji

You've probably heard the old adage "the eggplant emoji is…

CARTOON: InstaSad

A Text From Father Time to Baby New Year