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A Breakdown Of Where Your Weekly Church Contribution Goes

$ 195    eBay purchase of a Pop-Tart in the exact shape of the Virgin Mary. $ 125.00  Money spent to ensure that church security keeps homeless people off of church property. $ 87   3 dozen bags of marshmallows, 8 syringes of sodium pentothal for Youth Group retreat.

CARTOON: Telephoney

Can we all retire from this? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

GoFundMe Story Written By An Influencer Who Totally Hates To Accept ANYTHING From ANYONE

I need to be in SoHo to be surrounded by my fellow influencers and high-ranking members of society. As you know, I hate networking (see my YouTube video “Daily Struggles Of A Hot, Social Introvert”) but it has to be done.

You May Have Been Affected By Our Recent Dog-Walking Breach. What to Do Next.

Dear Ellen, As I’m sure you’re aware, the Park Slope community…