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Lustler Magazine

Chick on Chick-fil-A: Porn Hub & Grub Hub Join Forces! VR vs AR: Can anything finally make you feel something? Anything? Let's Hear It For 69! (The Average Age Of Our Readers) and more in this issue of Lustler Magazine!

PornHub’s 2nd Most Popular Searches By State

Texas: Choking the chicken.   An actual chicken. South Carolina: CHiPs in chaps Delaware: Rubes with pubes. And more!

Rudebook Magazine

Looking Good: 12 Ways To Find and Keep Unattractive Friends To Stand Next To,Lithium: Cheer up any dish with this surprise seasoning, 'Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!' And Other Things To Yell During Orgasm, and more in this issue of Rudebook Magazine.

Chores That I Absolutely Won't Get To This Weekend

Shaking the loose toenails off of the hammock in the backyard. Taking all of those vhs porn tapes to the Goodwill. Applying WD40 to the zippers of my parachute pants collection. And more!

I’m Your Web Browser’s Private Mode And We Need To Talk

Why do I have to be reserved for the filth? For the dirty work? For scoping out past significant others or scouring social media accounts for details on future Hinge dates, or looking up the activities of current archrivals to ensure that they’re not more successful than you are? Or looking up things about QAnon? For your deep dives into pornography in the middle of the day while you “work from home”? For your shameful schadenfreude? Why do you save this spelunking for me?

Planet Earth’s Sexual Fantasies

Clean Water Fetish: My oceans are filthy and this is all about making me clean, baby. I’ll beg you to dip your hands inside me and pull out the pounds of plastic blocking sunlight to my deepest depths. Yes, yes! Clean me with your plastic and trash removal machines!

#PizzaPickUpLines

I've only got pies for you, I lost my pizza can I have yours? Wanna see my dough face? And more #PizzaPickUpLines on this week's #10 trending joke game!

#LustyLunches

Humplings, Legs Benedict, Flirt Steak, and more #LustyLunches on this week's trending joke game!

NEWS BRIEFS: Home-schooling

Weekly Humorist News Briefs: Breaking News, Into Little Pieces.

Welcome to the "Humpkin Patch," Connecticut's Only 18 And Over Pumpkin Patch

Risqué photo ops? We got ‘em! We know you dirty fall deviants love to stick your head in all kinds of holes. That’s why we’ve painted a series of erotic scenes for you to insert your face into. Do it for the ‘gram! But be warned: The scenes depicted violate several codes of conduct on all major social networks.

The New Porns

Unwatched 10 episode-per-season, 7-season series on Netflix Porn, Look at me I’m a celebrity who is getting notoriety for something shameful and disgraceful Porn, and more.

Sexting Before Texting: PBS Explores The History of Erotic Communication

In the renaissance period, the European upper class would often commission nude portraits to be painted and hung in their master bedrooms. The process took a brisk two to four years to complete. Today, in a matter of moments after snapping a photo of your pale, awkward torso-to-thighs region, you can get a text from your great-grandmother saying, “I didn’t survive the Holocaust to see this”! Isn’t technology amazing?

Joke’s On You, Starbucks… The Screenplay I’m Writing In Your Store Is Far Worse Than Any Porn I Could Watch

The screenplay I’m writing in the middle of your store is far worse than any pornography I could be watching.

Aphrodisiacs That'll Get You Real Horned Up In No Time

Someone else’s leftovers Costco samples A lettuce leaf that…

Quiz: New Diet Coke Flavor or Porn Star

1. Brandi Love 2. Feisty Cherry 3. Cherrie DeVille 4.…

The Real Reasons That Stormy Daniels Is Suing Trump

Trauma incurred by having accidentally glimpsing his scabby,…

The Top 20 Bestselling British Porno Magazines

Keen Jugs Brilliant Fannies Tally Ho, Naked Ladies! Shag Fancy Cockney…

If Adult Movie Dialogue Was Actually ‘Adult’

“Oh god, you’re harder than getting out of bed in the morning.” “I…