Inside Sedition, Fox and No Friends, Big Steal or No Big Steal, and more!

She has 91 less criminal charges than Trump does. If by some miracle one of them actually lands him in jail she might then become the front runner. And more!

Go blonde. No, blonder. This one should be obvious, but we’re gonna go full Patrick Bateman on you here because we cannot stress “blonde” enough. Even if you’re one of God’s chosen few who possess natural blonde locks, you could still probably use the assistance of dye. There’s no such thing as too yellow or too platinum. Our boys love their towheads, and who can blame them? (Just don’t go too far into full-on white because then you’ll look old and, ew, gross, who wants to date that?)

No more mentions of a "witch hunt", as many Trump followers believe in actual witches, and the continued repetition of the phrase really frightens them.

This country desperately needs Trumpism without Trump. And I am not Trump. No, I'm- shitting my pants again! Oh no! Hnnnn! Hnnnnnnnnnnnn! Ew, my pants are full of shit! Why is this happening? I'm just trying to say and do everything Donald Trump would while looking and sounding more Presidential! Hhhnn! Oh God I'm shitting more- Hhhhhhhnnnnnnn! The shit's coming out of the bottom of my pants now!

Putting the 'ass' in classified. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Cujo: The love and kindness of a gentle St. Bernard dog is just what's needed to bring together a family struggling with undisclosed personal issues.

Allow us, your humble allies in this pursuit of equality, to present a couple steps, also known as the Five Stages of Grief, to help you navigate and ultimately accept the overwhelming heartache that comes with knowing 19% of all your paychecks will be forfeit to your student loans as long as you draw breath.

'Cancel Cancel Culture: Canceling Cancelation', 'Me First and You Maybe', 'My Pride and My Prejudice', and more!

Secret identity of Q (it's Tony Danza!!) McDonalds' Grimace life size sex doll, Trump steaks made of real Trump! (mostly his mother) And more!

Why have more than one door when you’ll never leave? This is the paradise you thought was only for other people! Every exquisite feature of this bespoke property reflects your public record. Constructed by Unhallowed Homes and occasionally materializing near Cancun...

Some bad news...Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

See, the owners, Joe and Kyrsten, have a real vision for this place.  They want it to appear to be a fully functioning restaurant, and bring in as many desperate customers as possible.  At the same time, they’re working with a conglomerate based in Qatar that plans to raze this building to the ground and replace it with a parking lot that’s convenient to absolutely nothing. 

Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales! This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business. Now #1 in new releases on Amazon! Get your copy today!

Now, if the tables had been turned and the bulls were a herd of dairy cows, I might have been concerned. You know how dangerous those Jersey cows can be. Very concerning. No, they don’t behave the same as a bull or have the horns, but they are definitely more dangerous. I hate to think what could have happened if they’d been the cattle that had come to our shop. It would have been an “udder” disaster.

Also the classic 'I Know You Are But What Am I." Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Caillou from Caillou: Is this one really a surprise? Caillou is entitled, bratty, and viewed as a negative influence on children. It’s no shock that he grew up to become a Republican. He throws temper tantrums to get his way and is never punished for his actions. Caillou definitely stormed the Capitol.

Mein Pillow, Trump’s Chumps, Turd Reich, and more!

Decoding. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

And here we are. I don’t like to use the word hero (though I’m sure I will, many times, when I write my memoirs). I’m just a simple rat who knows right for wrong when I see it. And then, someday, after years of consideration, I finally choose to listen to the searing fires of my burning conscience. It’s what any good, patriotic rat would do.

Definition of Sedition. Today's cartoon by Brandon Hicks.

Creeple, Trolling Stoned, Poor Sports Illustrated, and more!

We just need a signature here, here and here....everything will be taken care of, and then the turkey and his family will be in no way held liable for any crimes past or present. But if there's any room for disagreement, I may be willing to haggle regarding a member or two of the turkey's family. Like the turkey's sons, just as one example.

Offer a choice. This will make him feel like he has some say in the matter, even though he doesn’t. “On the way home, do you want us to keep counting the votes in Pennsylvania or stop counting them?”

The elephant in the room. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Consistent government is our best chance. Today's cartoon by David Ostow.

Maybe stay for a while. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Maybe a few more over the mouth to be safe. Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Melting Defenses. Today's catoon by Bob Eckstein and Paul Lander.

We rest our case....for being awesome. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Open your eyes. Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Can you hearing me now? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

Sinking feeling? Today's cartoon by Peter Kuper.

Getting ready for Trumper Dome. Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Intolerant, Undertolerant, Tolerance averse, Possessing a mild allergy to tolerance and more.

Can we get Presidential Disaster Relief? Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Gotta keep the tweeter healthy. Today's cartoon by Kit Lively and David DeGrand.

Which Cinderella story is making it all the way...to the final downfall? Click to see the full bracket! Today's cartoon by Bob Eckstein.

Cohen wasn't stymied by any of the questions, but rather simply distracted by the "Dress Your Own Baked Potato" bar that was being set up just off camera.

The following represents all of the GOP-approved activities relating to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. In light of the recent dancing video, please take time to review this list.

Donald was pissed that he wasn't the Person of the Year for TIME Magazine. But another publication made him Person of the Century! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers.

Indicted for Campaign Corruption, Securities Fraud, Self-published Bigfoot Erotica and more fun from our elected officials!

Nothing like getting endorsed by such a great pal! Today's cartoon by Ivan Ehlers!

Orange traffic cone, Box set of Ted Nugent CDs and more.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag Ooh, they're red,…

Pages and pages of printed Melrose Place fan message board transcripts. Doubles…

The crowd will be the largest for a military parade. Ever. Anywhere.…