World’s #1 Dad, Is What I Told The Parole Board Mug, And More!

This Is Not A Vibrator!  Personal Massager: Comes packaged in a container with “This Is Not A Vibrator!” printed in bold type to let the others celebrating the holiday with you know that, in no uncertain terms, this personal massager is definitely not going to be used as a mechanical penis.

Tapioca Rocca- Our catchy nickname for the hottest gift this Mothers' Day, a miniature sculpture of Al Roker made entire of tapioca pudding! And while it is indeed the hottest gift of this season, don't actually get it hot, or even warm. The smell is just horrible.

Virtual Fam Holographic Family Projector- $575.99 : Not able to see your relatives this holiday? Virtual Fam’s got you covered. Our new holographic projector creates 3D simulations of various family members, ranging from grandparents and godparents to nephews, nieces and in-laws. We make sure to project each individual’s best qualities, while deleting the more troublesome parts of their personalities.

Winner's Rubix Cube: Did you like fidget spinners? Do you want to feel smart without doing any work to get there? Soothe your ego with a Winner's Rubix Cube.

“The ashes of democracy.” Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg

Off the record? Today's cartoon by Michael Shaw.

He's making a list and checking it twice...he’s checking it again, just to be sure. Oh dear, the “t” on Robert’s name wasn’t quite crossed correctly. Better check the list again. It seems “Sally’s name has one “l” that’s not quite identical to the other “l”. He’d better create a new list.

How is Anthony? Is he grown? Does he have his first girlfriend yet? I hope the life-size 6ft dummy I sent with my last note was a suitable replacement for my non-attendance at his piano recital. We’re almost to hump day of Cyber Monday Deals Week, and I fear what will follow. I miss you and hold hope to return to see the family for our annual Christmas Celebration on January 14th