celebrity – Weekly Humorist

Rude Celebrity Encounters

January 24, 2024

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. He was so rude when he walked into his mansion the night I broke in and passed out on the living room couch. Hey, I was drunk, you know? You’d think the guy could relate. He told me to get the hell out of his house before he called the police. Didn’t even add a “please.” The nerve of that guy.

The Rise and Fall of My Cat, Former Zoom Celebrity: An Oral History

July 7, 2023

Dr. Erica Nuñez (pet psychologist): It can be stressful when the power imbalance in the home shifts so dramatically, when suddenly the pet is outshining the owner.

A List of Celebrities Who Have Skied Into My Back in Park City, Utah

April 12, 2023

Robert Downey, Jr. :You may feel a bit envious that I got to meet Robert Downey, Jr. when he skied into my back in Park City, Utah, but there’s really no need to be jealous. Robert Downey, Jr. skis into everyone. But he’s just so charming when he picks you up, it almost makes you forget the bruises, so it’s not all bad.

Children’s Book Ideas For Bored, Out-Of-Touch Celebrities

December 1, 2021

Little House on the Canaries, Martha Speaks to the Manager, The Very Hungry IRS, and more!

Martin Short was Named After his Height and other Insight from an Unofficial Hollywood Tour

October 12, 2021

Hollywood isn’t just known for entertainment though, it is home to many famous restaurants. The iconic chain In & Out is to your right, which was first created as part of a promotional campaign for the 1997 Kevin Kline film of the same name.

#FamousFlowers

May 5, 2021

Redd Foxgloves, Jimmy Hosta, Lou Weed, and more #FamousFlowers on this week's trending joke game!

#CelebABook

September 30, 2020

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret Cho, LeBron James and the Giant Peach, The Ceelo Green Mile, and more #CelebABook on this week's trending joke game!

#SmellyCelebs

July 29, 2020

Old Spice Girls, Fart Simpson, N*STINK, and more #SmellyCelebs on this week's trending joke game!

90s Movie Plot Points Adjusted for 2020

June 16, 2020

Titanic: The ill-fated ship never ends up sailing because, well, COVID. Jack ended up just hanging out in Southampton continuing to make each day count, and playing card games that allowed him to maintain a safe social distance. Rose of course ends up married to Cal, but not without building a really impressive Pinterest board of wedding ideas first! It made for a really boring movie, but the ending is now unbelievably happy. 1,500 people got to live, and the marriage between Billy Zane and Kate Winslet produced some ridiculously good-looking children.

#CelebAnAnimal

March 4, 2020

Timothy Elephant, Chick Norris, Betty White Shark, and more #CelebAnAnimal on this week's joke game!

John Lennon’s Tweets Regarding Last Night’s Fallon Appearance

February 7, 2020

The cancellation of celebs knows no bounds.

We Regret to Inform You That Vantage Consulting Will No Longer Be Using Your Pigeons for Our Internal Memos

January 17, 2020

Over the past 30 years, we have taken great pride in being the only company that still uses pigeons for our office communication. As a company committed to the well-being of both our employees and customers, we have always felt that modern technology (electronic mail and plumbing) is tearing apart the very fabric of the family business.

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