Recent Justice League Sexual Harassment Allegations

Super-powered individuals are placed on a pedestal in our society, due to the fact that many are actual heroes.    But at the end of the day, they are just celebrities, and susceptible to the weaknesses and foibles of other, similar folk (plus, Kryptonite).  

Here are a few recent, unfortunate examples…

Recent Justice League Sexual Harassment Allegations
Batman was recently accused of being inappropriate and grabby by his teenaged sidekick Robin.  Batman continues to insist that he was being influenced by Poison Ivy’s mind-controlling love potions at the time, and therefore not responsible for his actions.

Half a dozen women have come forward, claiming that Superman was sexually inappropriate while using his X-ray vision to view their persons.  Superman maintains that he was checking not only them, but all passengers on the runway train, searching for microscopic bombs planted by Metallo.    Close friend and Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent was unavailable for comment.

Both women and men have made statements to the press, expressing dismay and embarrassment at having been tied up with Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth.   They accuse the Amazonian princess of making them feel like a piece of meat, and insist that she used the roofie-like rope device to cloud their minds and remove their inhibitions.

The Flash has reportedly been seen zipping around the streets of Central City, intentionally running past skirt-wearing women so that their underpants, or less, are visible to him and others around them.   “It wouldn’t be so bad,” said one humiliated woman, “if it stopped there, but then he also makes a video of the incidents and posts them on his Flash In The Flesh web-site.”.

Even more women have come forward to complain about Aquaman’s inappropriate remarks.   “He’s always doing this creepy eyebrow wag while asking, ‘What smells like fish?'” complained one recent victim of his crude behavior.    “I think that it’s supposed to be ironic,” she added, “but it just comes off as sleazy and gross.”

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….