originals

QUIZ: T.S. Eliot or Missy Elliott

1. When it’s time to rhyme rhyme, I can get down for mine.

2. And there isn’t any call for me to shout it. For he will do, as he do do and there’s no doing anything about it!

3. Effanineffable

4. If you came to freak-a-leak you better bring your hat.

5. I got a cute face, chubby waist. Thick legs, in shape.

6. For a similar reason, when game is in season, he is found, not at Fox’s, but Blimpy’s.

7. Rum Tum Tugger

8. I’m like kak-a-rak-a-rak-rak-a-rak-a-rak.

9. Keep your eyes on my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. And think you can handle this gadong-a-dong-dong.

10. Well I never! Did you ever, know a cat so clever.

11. Is it worth it, let me work it. I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it.

12. He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake and, when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.


TS: 2,3,6,7,10,12
Missy: 1,4,5,8,9,11

Written by Paul Lander

Paul Lander

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending, Congolese gynecologist, Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney’s, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that’s been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…

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