How The Obamas Spent Their Vacation In The British Virgin Islands

When the Obamas departed from the White House on January 20th, they made a quick pit stop in Palm Springs, California before heading to the British Virgin Islands for a long overdue vacation. Here are just a few of the ways Barack and Michelle spent their time on this island paradise:

Going scuba diving in search of Osama Bin Laden’s corpse.

Asking Mitt Romney if they could borrow a little spending money from his offshore bank account.

 Getting a tour of the factory where Donald Trump makes his ties.

 Having to settle for the hotel’s Ex-Presidential Suite instead of the much nicer Presidential Suite.

 Calling the babysitter to make sure that Joe Biden isn’t being too much of a hassle.

 Seeing Bill Clinton stumble out of the local hedonism resort.

 Executive ordering an extra glass of wine with dinner.

 Nominating Merrick Garland to do a cannonball in the hotel pool.

 Declaring war on the hotel’s all-you-can-eat buffet without having to ask Congress for permission first.

 Realizing they accidentally left the White House oven on.

 Tipping the hotel maid with his Nobel Peace Prize.

 Going skydiving before Republicans repeal their health insurance.

 Getting a little too tipsy at the hotel bar and accidentally telling everyone about Mitch McConnell’s secret Karl Marx tattoo.

 Taking one look at what’s happening in America and deciding to extend their stay indefinitely.

Written by Bennett Kleinman

Bennett Kleinman

Bennett Kleinman is a writer living in Manhattan, New York. He currently contributes to ClickHole, and in the past has written for Late Show with David Letterman, Impractical Jokers, and truTV’s Almost Genius. In addition, he’s a member of the NYC-based sketch comedy team Cool Kid Comedy. Feel free to follow Bennett on twitter @bennettkleinman if you’d like to, although no worries if you’d rather not.