Least-Purchased Cyber Monday Deals

Gummers’ Eve douche for the elderly, pack of 24 for $8.99

“Extrava-Danza! The Poetry of Tony Danza” audiobook, 54 cents

Albinoel, A White Christmas holiday music app- 18 cents

Cowabunghole brand Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Butt-Plugs, set of four (plus bonus strap-on, The Shredder)- $24.99

Super Barrio Brothers video game- Help two Hispanic brothers traverse the perilous and frightening landscape of Trump’s America in this thrilling adventure! $14.99

iPhone that uses Harvey Fierstein’s voice as Siri.

Paas Swaastika Egg Decorating Kit- Tired of painting swastikas and racist statements on churches and schools? Try your hand at painting them on eggs with this delightful kit! Works on white eggs only.

3-D Virtual Reality Toenail Clippers- $2,499.99

Magic beans- One cow

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….