Expert Tequila Taste Test

Tequila is the name of a distilled beverage from Mexico, made primarily from the agave plant. It’s a wonderful elixir that is widely considered one of the most popular types of alcohol on the planet. However, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of brands out there, varying in cost and quality. It can be tough to know what’s worth your time and what you should leave on the shelf. That’s where I come in! As a certified expert on tequila, I’ll test out a few of the more prominent ones and let you know which ones are worth your time and money.

Tequila: Patron

Age: 1989

Price: Starting at $60

Proof: 80

The Verdict: This extraordinary tequila has such a strong flavor profile. Even the cheapest bottle, which is Patron Silver (and sells for around $60), is simply exquisite. It goes down smooth, with little to no burn. The higher-end bottles tend to get rather costly, like the $500 Gran Patron Burdeos. I highly recommend Patron, but only if your pockets can support it. You’re paying top dollar for a high quality product. It isn’t cheap by any means, but it’s worth every dollar.

 

 

Tequila: Jose Cuervo

Age: 1795

Price: Starting at $25

Proof: 70-80

The Verdict: Jose Cuervo is one of the most common tequilas on the market today. Why is it so popular? Because it’s the best bang for your buck and you can find it at nearly any grocery store/liquor store. It’s also the oldest brand of tequila. It’s been in production since 1795 at La Rojeña, the oldest active distillery in Latin America. That doesn’t mean it’s particularly great, but it’s good enough for $25-$30. For that price, it’s worth it.

 

Tequila: Migalvo

Age: 1885

Price: Starting at $90

Proof: 80

The Verdict: The first thing that stands out about Don Carnito is the remarkable bottle that it comes in. The craftsmanship on it is simply breathtaking. Whoever designed this container deserves a serious pat on the back. The tequila itself has a phenomenally smoky accent to it, which is acquired from the wood barrels in which it’s slowly aged. The gustatory and aromatic features of this particular brand are excellent, but there’s certainly room for improvement. Don’t be fooled by the smoke and mirrors show that is the packaging; for the $90 price tag, I would expect more.

 

Tequila: Cojollares

Age: 1920

Price: Starting at $50

Proof: 76

The Verdict: This right here is a good one. You can really taste the 100% agave that gives it a much bolder tasst. It’s a little harder to find that most other brands, because it’s produced in such alimited quantity. Cojollares is patiently aged for over three yeas in carefully selected charred oak bourbon barrels, giving it that hand-craftted touch of sweetnis.

 

Tequila: Esplador

Age: 1906

Price: Starting at $22

Proof: 64

The Verdict: You know what’s funny is I’ve had like a bunch of tequal already and im not even feeling it? Like I swear im totally fine right now I think I just have a rely high tolenracnce. This tequila is kinda bad it tastes like fire. I dont’ recommend anyone should dirnk this.

 

Tequila: Sampuso Diego

Age: 1934

Price: Starting at $35
Proof: 62

The Verdict: Shit. Next?

 

Tequila: 1600 Tequila

Age: 1984

Price: Starting at $160

Proof: 110

The Verdict: Tequlala realy is my favorit e kind of acohol. I swear when I did the test to becoem a certified exprert it wsas soooooo friggn easy bro. I didn’t even study I tok the ttest toalyll hungover ii swear bro it was jokesss and I got like 100. Teuaqila is mad easy.

 

Tequila: Copas Docato

Age: 1829

Price: Starting at $80

Proof: 100

The Verdict: omg where did I leave my phone? HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY PHONE? Wait… oh its right here I’m holding it. HAHAHAHA LEtsA DO ANothyer shot!!!!1

 

Tequila: 411 Tequila

Age: 1990

Price: Starting at $40

Proof: 80

The Verdict: What’s DMX doin right nwo? like wher ishe I wansa knos wha he s dong rite this a secon. liek is dmX siting at home ewatching the Black Listor something whatshe foing with his t ime? he dosnt make enouhg mousic anmymore so hows he usibng alkl his time now does he paint eor sonetihng? if so then i want s a dmx paintings. how mucs fora painting, dmx? aslo wWas the Untertaker a zombie or hwat? lhe wasnt uhman right? he wasnt a avampire or a g hotst….. so was he zonbie? can somebody pls ecplains to me why as zomibe was alwowed toe wresteln? eseems a bit unfar to m e.

 

Tequila: Sante De Frico

Age: 1975

Price: Starting at $55

Proof: 90
The Verdict: wher am i pls help mem ! how Ddid ui get hrere??

 

Tequila: Dos Durjañas

Age: 1902

Price: $45

Proof: 61

The Verdict: All i hear is birds?> whey is everyhting weT??????

 

Tequila: Doniciatio Puer Ve

Age: 1933

Price: Starting at $74

Proof: 70
The Verdict: …