Exiting Brexit: 10 Ways For The UK To Offset Losses After Final Leaving E.U Negotiations

A Reverse Mortgage for Buckingham Palace

Nothing will put a smile on those Buckingham Palace guards more then knowing their paychecks won’t bounce.

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List Scotland on eBay

Kilts, bagpipes, and, if you ‘Buy it Now,’ Sean Connery will tape your phone machine message. Hurry before the EU beats you to it.

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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Wedding Registry at Standard and Poor’s

Let’s face it, Harry and Meghan are up to their bullocks in toasters and table linen but maintaining a top credit rating for the UK, now there’s a gift that’ll put the bucks in Buckingham Palace.

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Adele is now available to play weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, Sweet 16s.

‘Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like me to sing at your event.’

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Tour Liverpool with Pete Best

Enjoy historic, scenic Liverpool with one-time Beatles’ drummer Pete Best. What fun, and, if you think leaving the EU sucked, hey, you’ll be reminded that it’s still not as bad as leaving the Beatles.

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Photo Op with Keith Richards

Have your pic taken with the Rolling Stones legend. It’ll be worth every pence spent, and, face it, everyone looks smashingly well when standing next to the legendary guitarist.

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Denny’s Wimbledon

Who better company to sell the Wimbledon naming rights to than the home of the ‘Grand Slam’ breakfast. Not only will it pay for the tourney, but be a reminder that ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day.’

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Make riding London’s ‘The Eye’ Ferris Wheel over and over again mandatory

Not only will it fill the national treasury but ride it enough times and you’ll have that going around in circles, nauseous feeling… much like the UK the morning after the vote.

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Royal Shakespeare Theater’s Put Your Name in a Shakespeare Play Sale

Big bucks for changing King Lear to, for example, King Larry from Paterson, New Jersey. Or, lesser bucks, for Hamlet to proclaim, ‘Alas, poor Gunter from Dusseldorf! I knew him.’

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AirBnB 10 Downing Street

What better way to spend time in London than at the Prime Minister’s flat. And, with no other actual employment opportunities, there’s a good chance you’ll get a ‘cheerio’ with your morning Times of London or Daily Mirror from former Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife Sharon who will be there to serve you tea and left over humble pie.

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Replace the Double Decker Buses with Le Cars

Not only will the savings on Petro be enormous, but every time a bus goes on its route, it’s a potential world record for stuffing people in a mass transit vehicle. Win-win.

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