originals

Duties of Those Cleaning the Convention Center Following the RNC

Repair porta potty glory holes


Contact landfill re: thousands of Mardi Gras bead necklaces made from spent shotgun shells.


Dispose of bodies of homeless who were shot while wandering too close to the convention center.


Clean brains off of the wall from racists whose heads exploded while attempting to listen to Melania Trump.


Use taser, repeatedly if necessary, to dissuade Ted Cruz from sniffing still-warm seats in the auditorium.


Remove sterilization elixir tank from concession stand soda machines, hoping and praying that it might have worked this time.


Attempt to hose away the thick, viscous, slug-esque slime trail left in the wake of the Trump family.


rnc-clean-up

Written by Kit Lively

Kit Lively

Ain’t It Cool News said of Kit, “If Gary Larson is Bill Cosby, then Kit is Richard Pryor.” That’s a great quote, right? Man, I love that quote! That was, until Bill Cosby turned out to be a deplorable serial rapist. Now the quote isn’t worth shit, even though my name isn’t linked directly to Cosby’s! Thanks a lot Bill, you jackass. Not only have you ruined dozens of lives with your rapey ways, but you’ve ruined a perfectly good quote as well. I hope you rot in Hell, you scumbag.
Anyway, Kit’s cartoons have been published by lots of humor magazines, etc. etc. yadda yadda. (sigh)….

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