Entries by Irving Ruan


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If The Rules of Fight Club Were Repurposed for Book Club

The first rule of Book Club is: you do not talk about Book Club. The second rule of Book Club is you do not talk about Book Club, unless it’s only thing in your life that puts you in contact with humans and fancy cheese. The third rule is you do not have to actually […]

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Lines I Imagine Jeff Goldblum Saying In “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”

“Life, uh, finds a way. For the fifth time, apparently.” “I like a pickled dinosaur. A regular dinosaur I’m not so interested in.” “There is a fine line between a hungry velociraptor and a grilled zucchini.” “Eventually, you do plan on not getting eaten, right?” “Like a dinosaur, I eat meat. But wait, ooo, yes, ahh, […]

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James Joyce Writes Taglines for Famous Movies

The 40-Year-Old Virgin Frolick too late, no joy. The Social Network You don’t get to five hundred million chaps without making a few barnacles. Brokeback Mountain Heath and Jake climb mountains together, forbidden. Banned by Catholic Church. The Shawshank Redemption A prisoner, Red said, is just a prisoner. Murder well? Blade Runner Robots with feelings. […]

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Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper

Categories: Mediterranean Locations: Jerusalem Attire: Casual Good for Kids: No Alcohol: Yes   ★★★☆☆ “I came here with a big group and we were immediately seated. Our meal started off with bread and wine, but not nothing too special. Not sure why our table had chairs only on one side?” —Matthew ★★★★★ “The bloody wine […]

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Classic Works of Literature Rebranded for Millennials

“A Tale of Two Tweets” At long last reunited with Lucie, Dr. Manette is thankful now that father and daughter can finally direct message each other. Later, Sydney Carton makes the ultimate sacrifice by giving Charles Darnay his Twitter password. “Waiting for Godot’s GrubHub Delivery” Estragon and Vladimir decide to have a quiet night in, […]