Originals

Alliterative Day-of-the-Week Themes to Boost Morale at Your Startup

 

Mole Mondays

Nope, not the cute little furry critter! Though, we should think about getting one of those as a pet for the office. Steve—No, right, Steph—start a thread on Slack, will ya? No, we’re talking burritos, enchiladas, tacos, all smothered in as much of that rich, smoky sauce as you can handle. Don’t worry about the app. Look at the manpower we have here! No doubt, we’ll have a beta version live by Friday.


Titanic Tuesdays

We’ll reenact the Irish dancing sequence from the hit film, Titanic. Remember Titanic, guys? Yeah, we’re all about that ’90s nostalgia. Since Julie’s the only girl on the team, we’ll all have to take turns playing Jack. So get stoked, because we’ll pump some Irish jams on the karaoke machine and get ourselves a-steppin’. Then we’ll really have the creative juices flowing, and we’ll be ready to get this project off the ground. When this team gets going, we’re unstoppable. So let’s step to it, lassies! Okay, laddies. And lass. Scottish, right. Well, that’s actually very close to Ireland. No, I bet there are actually a lot of similarities in their terms of endearment. And dancing. Uh huh. Cultural diffusion.


Work Till Seven Wednesdays

Okay, seriously, we gotta buckle down if we want to be in beta by Friday. Yeah, so the whole team is going to stay till seven and just power through. Right, well, all hands on deck is a theme. Yeah, kind of a continuation of the whole Titanic thing, right. We gotta push on our oars here and get this over the wall. No, feel free to take a pils out of the beer fridge, though. No, yeah, keeping it loose. Right. Fun office. No foosball tournament today, though. No. Not in keeping with the theme.


Thoroughly Fucked Thursdays

Who the hell spilled a Lagunitas all over my laptop? Goddammit, guys! Karl, what are you doing in the dinosaur costume? Keeping it loose? It’s not fucking Pterodactyl Thursday! No, well, the “Pt” does make a “T” sound, so it is sort of alliter—Goddammit! Steve—Steph, what-the-fuck-ever! Just, get me a loaner laptop, will ya? What do you mean we’re responsible for buying our own? I thought Venrock cut us a $10 million Series A check? Well, whose idea was it to buy so many motherfucking pilsners? We’ve got one day, guys.


Fire Sale Fridays

Yeah, just take the bean bag chair. I don’t give a shit. Look, I’m taking the standing desk. Well, it’s already adjusted to my height, so—up yours, Steve. Steph, whatever. Listen, it’s not my fault we’re not in beta today, is it? The CEO leads. He doesn’t code. That means, “provides leadership.” Uh huh, I did learn that at Kellogg as a matter of fact. Yes. Well, themed days, for one. No, a lot of people are inspired. Right, were inspired, sure. Okay, has anybody set up the eBay account? A dozen MacBooks ought to get us a couple thousand, right? What about Julie? Did she get back from putting up the flyers? Well, we have to sell everything by 5. Right, 5 tonight. Well, it’s not Work-Till-Seven Wednesday, is it?


 

Written by Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton

Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton

Michael Bleicher and Andy Newton are above-average in height and know the harmony parts to most Simon & Garfunkel songs. Andy is an editor in New York City and Michael is a copyright attorney in Washington, D.C.

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