9 Great Urinal Conversation Topics

1. Cold out/hot out/regular temperature out.

2. These are good flushers.

3. What a week/can’t believe it’s only Tuesday/humpday!/Happy Friday.

4. [Act like you don’t see the person next to you].

5. Guess what I’m doing.

6. Do you think there’s a God?

7. I just stand here and pretend to pee for thirty seconds so I can control a tiny part of my workday. What brings you to the restroom?

8. Do you know any good songs we could harmonize on?

9. Hm.

Written by Jonathan Zeller

Jonathan Zeller

Jonathan Zeller is a writer, editor and comedian who’s contributed to McSweeney’s, The New York Times, and Teen Vogue.